Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
