How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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