You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
