Im at strip club and am horny
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I love you.
Bad choice
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