Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
