it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
