he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
