you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
