Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
