Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
