An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
