Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
What drink are we having for lunch?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
