I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
