you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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