His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
