The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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