you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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