i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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