You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
