I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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