i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she peed on how many people?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
