i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
