I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just had sex on a roof
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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