if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
