okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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