How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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