Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
they're like a gay fantastic four
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
