how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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