He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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