And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
