I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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