We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
