Apparently you make a good broom.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
