i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
