i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
