can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
