i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
