it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
