You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I think my vagina is haunted
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
