She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
