You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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