I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
