puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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