did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
