don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm getting married
To pizza
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Randomize
