No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
