I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
