if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
