I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
