I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
FUCK WHALES
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
