i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
