I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
