she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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